I needed an outlet, and that is what I found. I started my Dainty instagram in November 2014 and quickly became consumed by it. It was all hair to begin with, but as brands wanted to work with me, and my hair inspo quickly dwindled until there was little at all, it became a fashion page. I don’t have to do my hair intricately on the daily, but there are laws commanding my getting dressed all 365 of them. Though my love for what initially fueled the invention of my page fizzled out, my love for the ‘gram was stronger than ever…until about January 2017.
It was then I was introduced to The Minimalists by a friend, and I hopped on that bandwagon too. To be fair, this seems like a mighty fine bandwagon to join and I am still very much involved with all the media they put out into the world. This duo shares how they’ve improved their lives with less. Less stuff gives them more time for their health, time to dedicate to their values, and time to spend on their loved ones instead of things they “love”. I went through a phase where cleaning out my closet and decluttering were a normal after work activity, and it worked for a while. But eventually the stuff found it’s way back in, because I was solving the symptoms and not the disease.
If you’ve spent any amount of time on instagram (and according to many studies, you probably have), you know that the fashion Instagram sphere encourages an antithetical approach to minimalism. It encourages you to buy more, follow more, post more, comment more, MORE MORE MORE! And never stop doing more by the way, because the algorithm will find you and somehow find a way to chop off your legs. I have no idea how the algorithm works (do any of us really?) but in my understanding, the more you play on Insta, the more visible you are. So unless you’re spending a LOT of time liking, posting, commenting, following, etc. you’re basically invisible not only to new people but to the PEOPLE WHO ALREADY FOLLOW YOU. How messed up that is, I don’t think I need to explain.
Add this to my finding Jesus, and my word you’ve got an absent Instagrammer.
I grew up going to church but hating every second there. I was there, but I didn’t know why and I certainly didn’t get much out of chasing my brother and cousin around at “children’s church” each week. Not only because I was slow as hell, but because there was little biblical teaching. To be fair, I don’t think I would’ve been very responsive even if there had been. Fast forward to August 2017 when I finally stepped foot into the church I’d been driving past for two years. As a painfully introverted girl with some serious RBF, I wasn’t sure what church I’d be able to find whose members wouldn’t bombard me at the door ready to make me talk. My dad kindly suggested I slip in right at the start of service so there wasn’t much talking time. I’m so type A I hadn’t even considered there was an alternative to showing up everywhere 10 mins early (minimum). So slip in I did, and it wasn’t long until the church truly became my sanctuary. I can breathe there, I am safe there, and I am among friends. I even like to talk to these friends now.
Sorry for the forever long backstory, but it was necessary to get you where I’m next taking you.
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Instagram is so ugly to me now. Or I suppose, the way I’ve been using it has lost it’s luster. The constant influx of “you need this” is frankly exhausting and UNTRUE! We are bombarded with the message that we aren’t enough. We don’t make enough, have enough, spend enough, look good enough, ANYTHING enough. And believing that is a sad way to spend our days. My momma told me that as I grow closer to God, the world will become less and less. And as always she is correct! I love following very few of the accounts I actually look through daily, and because I didn’t want to add to the detrimental noise of anyone else’s life I’ve shied away from my own feed. I want to spend my time and attention on who and what truly matters, and I’m happy to let my follower count dwindle as I spend less and less time on Insta. What started as a creative outlet quickly took on a life of its own, and I’ve got so much more worth focusing on than an app. I balk at the amount of time spent on my phone each day, and how much better my time could’ve been spent. Looking at stranger’s accounts will get you nothing at the end of the day, but investing in yourself and your values always pays off. I encourage you to unfollow anyone who gives you any type of negative feel! Myself included.
I no longer feel at home on Insta, but instead in the sphere of people who truly matter to me and in the church that is my refuge. I have battled anxiety since childhood, and that can easily flirt with depression if untended. 2018 seems to be the most anxiety-ridden time in American’s lives to date, and I know it’s only up from here unless we enact some serious principle reversing here. Instagram and our completely backwards society want us to keep searching, but not for anything that will satiate our desires or close our wallets. Malls are filled with people looking to purchase what can never be bought. Don’t buy into it (pun intended). In case you need a reminder like I do:
You are in this world, but not of it. Don’t let it consume you.
You are enough, you have enough, and you do enough.
If you’d like to treat the disease rather than the symptoms, start with prioritizing what matters to you. And then end with that, because this one wild, precious life is YOURS alone to do with as you will.
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Please feel free to comment them or email me ❤
Love,
Ashley
The Dainty Days 
This was just what I needed to hear. My study breaks recently have consisted of mindless scrolling through whatever app my fingers click aimlessly on my phone. Thank you for the reminder and to work on my real life relationships rather the virtual ones that shouldn’t have as much influence in my life. I appreciate your candidness and quite frankly I think if most bloggers took a moment to think about what they do it wouldn’t fill them up as much as they think. ❤️
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Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful reply! I am completely guilty of that taking up my time too, but all we can do is do better the next day! Thanks again for your feedback!
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YES GIRL!!!! Preach!!!
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HAHA!! Thanks so much for reading it!! 🙂
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Thank you!!! This is so true and I appreciate your candidness. Great reminder!
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Thank you for reading it! 🙂
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Love what you had to say and agree with you on what Instagram has become. It can brainwash you in sort of a way. You’re an inspiration!
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Thank you so much!! It can most def brainwash us all if we let it. Thank you so much for reading and for your feedback!!
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This spoke to me on so many levels! Thank you, honestly I have been going through so much spiritually and mental and a lot of things in this world have been pulling me in the wrong directions (social media, crappy weather, being around negative people at work, etc). Reading this has brought the light I was needing to shift my gears back where I really want to be.
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Aww, I’m so glad to hear it! I completely feel you on this weather, and negativity at work is so hard to deal with!! I’m so glad this helped in any way. Thank you for reading and for your kind reply!!
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This is the truth! How refreshing! Love your willingness to share the freedom you have now in Jesus! What would the world look like if we were all so bold with our testimonies ? Love it!
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I completely agree!! What a world it would be. Thank you so much 🙂
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Yes! This is great, I really appreciate your honesty and it motivated me to take a better look at who I am following and their influence.
I don’t post much myself but find myself scrolling and wasting time I could be doing more productive things. This was kind of a wake up that maybe I need to find a new way to unwind.
Thank you! Love your blog! 🙂
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Oh wow, thank you so much for letting me know!! I’m totally guilty of the same, but I’m trying to find the better pulls on my time to tend to! I’m so glad you read it and for your feedback, thank you!!
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I love this so much. I unfollowed every person I didn’t know on insta (like 400 people) and slowly started to follow people again. It was refreshing and I can at least mindfully decide who to follow again (you included) instead of following people for “a chance to win blah blah blah” it’s exhausting and sad. I hate how much time I’m on my phone! Thank you for this post!
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Thank you!! What a great idea, I love that! I’m glad it’s helped. Thank you for reading and for your feedback!!
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Oh gosh. This truly resonated with me. I’ve fallen into that hole so many times and definitely am in the trenches of it now. Anxiety is my daily and I can definitely see the correlation between how much time I spend on social media. It’s such a double edged sword when your business hustle depends on social media. As always, thank you so much for being so real and down to earth. This has truly given me the push I needed to get back to my roots of what makes me happy, and the kick in the pants to get back to my church I love, but haven’t found the time for the past few months. 💗
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I completely agree, my anxiety rises with each minute more spent online!! I can’t imagine having this be my income as well as a creative outlet, but good for you for doing your best to balance while also making a living! I’m so glad you’re heading back to church! ❤
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Love this! Thank you for sharing. I have been wanting to implement a more minimalist lifestyle in our home. It first got my attention because I noticed all the Clutter and screen time effects my two-year-old daughter. We are trying to find our way, find balance and find ourselves in church more often. If you have any Christian or minimalist podcast you recommend we would love to hear those!
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Preach girl!!!! So well said! I started following you when you started minimizing and shopping at Goodwill. Ps. Thank you for having real hair, not fate extension
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The social media comparison game is so hard, and you are right, it’s all more, more and more stuff! God is enough and is all we need. This year I dropped social media, got a grateful journal, limited my kiddos screen time and got back to basics…. best decision I ever made! Thankful for your testimony and that you found Jesus again. Many blessings to you❤️
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